In India, divorces are branded as a “problem”. But, aren’t divorces a solution to the “problem”?
It is an exit from an arrangement that was suffocating out life from two consenting adults stuck in a dysfunctional relationship?
Mia Khalifa is Okay. Divorces are Not
Within the Indian eco-system, divorce is a social stigma. Mrs. Sharma and her kitty group would get awkwardly inquisitive if the neighbour’s kid was going through a divorce. Rumours and assumptions would dart like crazy fireworks.
I wouldn’t blame Mrs. Sharma though. She has ample leisure time and nothing important to worry about. So proactive gossiping keeps her engaged and heart-healthy.
So while our millennials are gladly lapping up on the concepts of Mia Khalifa and LGBT, the greater society still finds it excruciatingly painful to watch a girl walk back into her paternal setup, from a failed marriage. That’s a major problem.
Oh!! Is it an Investment Gone Wrong?
Assumably, the problem is further aggravated if one of them is dependent. You see, above and beyond the emotional wreckage, the money factors amplify the “problem”. The divorce process is usually long and expensive. Especially, the additional pitfalls of expensive lawyers, settlement battles and courtroom dramas.
Unfortunately, India is still predominantly a patriarchal society. So the chances of the wife being a dependent are statistically more. Most Indian marriages are a shockingly expensive affair that involves personal loans, mortgages, an unnecessary extravagant social show-off. So when the girl walks back into her paternal setup, our dear old Mrs. Sharma quickly equates it to an investment gone wrong.
The financial journey is somewhat less bumpy if it involves a working woman.
A Solution to a Long-Term Problem?
Initially, couples in distress strive hard to look natural and picture-perfect on social media and family circuits. For obvious reasons. They wouldn’t want Mrs. Sharma sniffing and scrutinising around looking for the faintest hint of distress signal.
Soon, they exhaust the 20+ GB photo stocks from pre-wedding photoshoots, dream honeymoon and first anniversary. Now what?
They keep arguing, screaming, accusing each other’s parental dynasties, finding faults in the stars, Gods, Vaastu, and even Fengshui. Clearly, throwing sharp objects and conspiring to kill each other isn’t the best way to end a hard day. Each day. Every day.
As individual humans, we are bound to have perspectives and opinions that might not align well with another human with whom we share our bedroom every night.
When these differences create an irreparable drift, it leads to a toxic relationship that turns intolerable.
A divorce might put an end to the problem. Allowing individuals to live and survive, to grow and move on.