Great Indian Curry

When School Mommies Formed a WhatsApp Group

Feeding My Son to the Great Pressure-Cooker Schooling System

So we finally decided to feed our son to the Great Indian Schooling System. Because, that’s how we secure his distant future as a Political Leader, Doctor, Engineer, Banker or Teacher – Chronologically in the order of financial prosperity and social recognition. So aligning with the conventions, we ceremoniously took uncountable pictures of him in his school dress, school bag, water bottle, et all, on the first session day. Next, we also posted them on Facebook and received 100+ Likes from many people I have never known personally. It was one of those special Life-Moments.

When School Mommies United to Form a WhatsApp Group

Within the first month after the online classes started with much galore, most of the school mommies unanimously agreed to form an independent and private WhatsApp Group. To upkeep the quality benchmarks of these groups,  Mommies from other class-sections are not invited. Unless ofcourse a mommies has two kids from different classes. On the other hand, Mommies who humbly decline invitations from the group leaders, are often perceived as snobbish. Their reluctance to join the union is unpardonable.

These aren’t the groups where you share Good Morning messages and forwarded pristinely inspirational Modi speeches. These are WhatsApp groups where school mommies vent their concerns to issues such as:

  • Piling homework.
  • School timing.
  • Unwarranted spike in school fees.
  • Teachers not paying equal attention to each student and how some students aren’t awarded enough smileys.

These are issues which demands a collaborative effort. Away from the preying eyes of the school teachers. Because revolutionary conversations demand a platform that’s free from the administrative atrocities and authoritative processes.

And since we are humans, the group often deviates from their conventional discussions to address other social matters. Such as mother-in-laws, maid problems, Myntra sale, Hair-fall problems, etc.

School Mommies WhatsApp Groups – Inspiring the Future

These are groups that inspire parents to push their wards harder and harder, until the Nursery kid finds that supreme streak of determination to become Firefighters, Astronauts or Policemen of the future (because that’s what most YouTube cartoons comprise of). Some of the smarter kids with more smileys might even aspire to be the next Dexter, Captain America or Wonder Woman. These groups are a perennial source of physiological and intellectual nourishments that NCERT failed to deliver.

M1: “Mrs. M2, You son is so good at Addition? Does he take private tuitions? Which teacher? What phone number? What fees?”
M2: “Private tuitions at Nursery? No no no. He is like born intelligent. Plus FYI, we were in US for 10 years. It’s all about nutritious food intake you know – Spiralized Cucumber and Jicama Tostada Salad with Avocado, Mediterranean Chicken, Curried Butternut Squash Soup, Lemon-Pepper Salmon, etc…..”
M3: “So you prepare these yourself? How do you manage time?”
M2: “No no no. I don’t know how to cook. We had a private chef. But now we aren’t allowing outside help.”
M3: “So…”
M2: “Now I just give him Maggi thrice a day.”
M2: “Oh…”
Meanwhile M1: “Can someone help me with private tuitions? My son keeps writing 1 + 1 = 11.”

Well, the WhatsApp groups also address ancillary issues that indirectly impact school and performance.

M1: My maid hasn’t turned in today. And my in-laws are such slow and useless fellows.
M2: Oh my husband is so insensitive….He has office meetings the entire day. All he does is pay the school fees, a few EMIs and a bunch of utility bills.
M3: We are visiting Italy this summer. I need a month off from school.
M4: Blush..blush…I am pregnant once again. We wanted two children at least. What if a single child disowns you later?

While parents strive and struggle to outshine each other in this fierce rat-race, they press their children to study more, participate more and perform better, often beyond their child’s  capacity. Especially, at the tender age of 4 Yrs. – 5 Yrs. when they still believe that Pinocchio and the Tooth Fairy are real deals.

18 replies »

  1. Thanks. And Happy Teachers Day 🙂 Feels good when a Teacher comes back and acknowledges the facts that I attempted at presenting in a lighter shade and tone.

  2. You make the mundane interesting. Great knack for keeping the reader glued to your post. I thoroughly enjoyed your writin.

  3. Yes you are right. Mommies do the same things what you have written. And they have a tendency to make her child topmost and show it to all. May be it’s beyond of child’s capacity. I was laughing when I was reading the conversations of mommies. Well written 👌🌹💐😊!

  4. You’re forgetting the homework for the unborns. If listening to classic music helps them to develop goodness knows what, imagine what them listening to famous scientists will do!
    When did we forget about the little miracles we call each baby and turned them into computers instead?

  5. Well so glad you liked it. After a few decades, you will need to admit your kids to school while they are still tucked away in the ovary. Or may be while you are still planing a child. So you we would probably need to enroll them to school before we plan our honeymoon in Greece.

  6. I am so happy and grateful for my internet-less (and WhatsApp-less) childhood… I really wish my childhood upon any child, because it was fun, great and without too much pressure. Children already have so much to do when they’re young (like, growing up), I’d never be able to press them this hard.

    Sad this is a thing nowadays. Nevertheless, I giggled reading this. You have a light, fun way of writing.

  7. Most parents only see their kid as an investment. This writing style is a fun way to represent the issues which have remained unheard since the dawn of schools. The “next dexter” part was awesome.

  8. This was truly such a fun read. Of course the underlying issue of super mommies reuniting to take away the joys of childhood bliss from their kids and make them into all rounder perfect students is not lost…..I have never understood this logic honestly… especially when your kids are so young…but anyways, your writing is just so humorous. Great read 👏👏❤️❤️

  9. We need more of those WhatsApp Mummy Groups (or shall we say, Activists?); a deviant from the popular Facebook.
    Beautiful, and comical, too. 😍

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